She made the remarks on September 6, 2026, during the Young Leaders Prayer Breakfast, which brought together leaders from different sectors to pray for the country.
Jeannette Kagame said one of the concerns facing Rwandan society is the changing attitude toward family life, with some people becoming afraid of or avoiding the responsibilities that come with commitment and marriage.
She noted that marriage and long-term commitment are increasingly being viewed as choices that can be postponed until individuals have achieved other personal goals.
“Marriage is increasingly being treated as an option, or as something a person should consider only after achieving everything else they want,” she said. “For example, completing their studies, getting a good job, paying off all their debts and other goals.”
She added that by the time people achieve all these goals, the desire or willingness to commit to marriage may sometimes have diminished.
According to the First Lady, this reflects some of the changes taking place in relationships today.
She also pointed to the emergence of different terms used to describe modern relationships, including “situationships,” as well as various stages of relationships such as talking, getting to know each other and dating before marriage.
Jeannette Kagame said young people have been given opportunities to lead and take on important responsibilities, but parents may have neglected their role in continuing to teach them about values, responsibility and family life.
“Rwanda has chosen to place its trust in young people, giving them responsibilities in different sectors. This is not limited to public institutions, as young people are also prominent in the private sector,” she said.
“That trust is largely based on what individuals can demonstrate, including education, intellectual ability, experience, values and other qualities. All of these are very important.”
However, she stressed that building a successful family requires more than academic qualifications and professional skills.
“Could this have created a gap? Have we perhaps focused on positions and abilities without taking enough time to help young people grow morally, emotionally and socially? These qualities are also necessary for someone to become a good leader, both at home and at work,” she said.
“Being intelligent may help you excel professionally, but when it comes to family life, your relationship with your spouse, raising your children and protecting family unity during difficult times, intelligence alone is not enough. Other strengths and values are needed.”
She emphasized that if a stable family is the foundation upon which a country is built, young people have a responsibility to strengthen that foundation, beginning in their own homes.
“If a stable family is the foundation upon which a nation is built, then the responsibility of young people is to strengthen that foundation, starting in our own homes, so that what we leave to our children will not be wounds they must continue to heal, but a strong foundation upon which they can build,” she said.
The First Lady also reminded participants that no one enters into marriage intending for it to fail, and that experiencing difficulties or the breakdown of a family should not diminish a person’s value.
“There are issues that have been raised, and some that I have personally been reflecting on. What we have heard is evidence that we need to discuss these matters and build quality families,” she said.
“Whether we are already married or still looking for someone to share our lives with, the journey of building begins with love and trust. No one plans for building a family to become difficult or to go badly to the point of separation. But life does not always go as we expect, and when things do not work out, it should not become a measure of a person’s worth.”
Meanwhile, the Chief Executive Officer of Rwanda Leaders Fellowship, Moses Ndahiro, said parents should remember that despite holding demanding responsibilities at work or in leadership, they remain parents with an important duty to raise their children.
He said Rwanda has made significant progress in building unity, peace, development and national reconstruction, but families continue to face several challenges, including economic difficulties, the misuse of technology, drug abuse and a lack of sufficient time for parents to raise and guide their children.
“In Kinyarwanda, we say that upbringing is greater than birth. Giving birth to a child is only the beginning, but raising that child, being present, showing them love and teaching them to respect God and other people is a responsibility that requires patience and sacrifice,” Ndahiro said.
He added that while a child may forget a gift they received, they will never forget the time a parent gave them, the moments when they were listened to and the love that was shown to them.
The Young Leaders Prayer Breakfast brings together leaders from key national institutions, government, religious organizations and churches, civil society organizations, the private sector and young people, with the aim of praying for Rwanda.
